tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46099112769874555152024-03-08T14:28:29.378-08:00future of the left v2.nowfalcotronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04479988669674757087noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4609911276987455515.post-87726658943269727442012-11-04T23:40:00.000-08:002012-11-04T23:40:43.755-08:00Detroit 4/11/2012<br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
I have a bad throat.</div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
That's right, BBC news, CNN, Al-Jaazera and the South Grimsby Stoat & Echo - I have a bad throat, so hold the feng-shui'd clitty-slapping front page and get my (I imagine) bruised larynx pressed into the pressed and pressing news agenda of your impressionable readers. Get John Simpson(*1) down to the scene in a helicopter and film him interviewing tearful fans as they flee the scene of my face. "How do you feel, madam?" "Megafied, John.". Yes, you've got your fucking hurricanes and rape gaffes and other minor dramas of the $6 billion race to change precisely nothing and the molten, slowing echoes of the Arab Spring and Luis Suarez(*2) and aubergine pesto and genetically engineered yawns and right-on goat herders dictating to bankers how they can (or can't) spend their blood money and fuck that and elephants being sick on ghosts and (hashtag) everything.</div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
I have a bad throat and the world keeps turning. A shit complaint, in a carbon-based realm of cancers, curses and Piers Morgan but my day-to-day now revolves almost entirely around a process of medication as the business of fun and rock and roll and the greatest holiday men (and wombed men) could ever know throws it's shapes across our lives.</div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
To rewind (figuratively). I never wanted to be a singer, vocalist, vox-iter, shouter, frontman or preening bolstered bell-end, I wanted to be a guitar player. Play, stare, feign disinterest, then slink off before the memories are fully formed. Effort - the enemy of good sense (Singers don't stay in bed late like guitarists, they're always up early writing letters of complaint to arms manufacturers or dressing neighbourhood children as jungle animals to celebrate various religious festivities). My first show, I wore a yellow t-shirt (poorly advised with my skin tone - I looked like a racist tomato) and hated every minute. Later, I loved it, because when people (and I use that term loosely) sang my words they would shittify them as such a remarkable rate it was as if they had been sent from heaven to break my heart. So, y'know, you (well, I - or perhaps you as well) keep going and life fills in the gaps. Eventually you (I/you/we/it/Chris) write some good songs and the whole thing comes to a point in a moment (or sequence of moments) where it all feels worthwhile and crisp and pure and right and the acceptance of others (most others - loved ones are peculiar) means so little as to be acutely welcome when eventually expressed. </div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
"You love our band? Thankyou. So do I. I give my life to it. "(*3)</div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
When the band that became (for want of any better name turning up in time) future of the left started I was completely past any notion of wanting to hear my horrible fucking voice crucify any more of the semi-decent melodies I was occasionally capable of writing. I'd listen back to demos or rehearsal tapes and cringe at the predictable and limited range of sounds that one man can make (unles he is being attacked by balloons) but more than that I was sick of spending most touring days in a state of waking dread, frowning through sniffs and blue with despair the second anybody in the vicinity coughed or complained about a sore throat. I wanted to be a guitar player, real but hidden, safe in the knowledge that I'd be easily capable of completing my stage role unless I happened to be attacked by a circular saw or blinded by a sudden snowfall. </div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
The fact that I'm sitting here now, snug in the van as we race away from Detroit, communicating with Julia by mime (she's getting pretty good at interpreting it, despite the laughter(*4)) and everyone else by typing on my iphone should illustrate perfectly how well I hold to my resolutions. The New York show, in the well-meaning but utterly inappropriate Europa blew my throat as I over-compensated against it's tin-can maw and I now struggle with the barest syllable. Cleveland was suprisingly triumphant, lifted from hoarseness by a wonderful crowd but a Sunday night in a pretty-good Detroit exposed the upper-mid frailities (that particularly effects Arming Eritrea) without the fall-back of a writhing mass of humanity to distract me from the truth. Chicago tomorrow. Famed, cold, impassive Chicago- they write histories there, I've heard. I'll sing a good fuck there or die trying. </div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
I stood on a stage once, in Melbourne, and literally could not sing a note. The death of close family members aside, it was the worst moment of an average life spent fighting the inevitable onslaught of physics. Three hundred people staring at my fat face as I motioned to Jack to stop the song (I forget which one - it was a rock show and I dare say quite warm) because there was no human sound to give, not even a whisper. Those people (YOU people, who knows) had paid to see us (*5) and, thousands of miles from home, I shrugged and walked away.</div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
I know, I know- Singers are pricks. I have a bad throat. Yup. Yes. Hell, I have a bad heel as well (too much road running) and hearing which would shame a goat in a sand-storm. I also have issues with the modern craze for dance competitions and a sea-food allergy which to be honest, interests me less than it interests you. </div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
We're at a motel now. I'm going to put cold pizza down my trousers and drink an Amstel Light like it's a thing. Goodnight.</div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
falco</div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
ps. Aside from all this I'm having a great time.</div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
(*1) or any of the highly respected news monkeys.</div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
(*2) a man who is brilliant at kicking a ball but less significantly less good at being a human being, if evidence is to be believed. </div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
(*3) i would never say or even really think this but it sure is fun to write down.</div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
(*4) i like to think this is affectionate.</div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
(*5) and by extension, partly me.</div>
falcotronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04479988669674757087noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4609911276987455515.post-88313166293087495852012-05-29T03:28:00.000-07:002012-05-29T07:04:43.860-07:00based on a novel of the same name<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A
pre-script – rebuttals of unfavourable album reviews are lame,
self-serving and immature – this one is no different. Cries of
bias, confusion and vanilla lack of taste are every day and I care
for them not a fuck. But sometimes, one-times, a man may feel
compelled to stand up (or sit, in my case) against what he feels is a
great injustice and exhibit his right to reply – well, this is my
time and I hope it’s not my last because, to be quite honest, I’ve
really enjoyed it. Please read whilst accepting the implicit
understanding that any forum-based comments of the nature of ‘if
you can’t take the criticism then don’t release the record’ are
even more passé than this piece itself which is to say – very
passé indeed.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Dear
Mr.Cohen</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Many
things occurred to me on reading your review of the new future of the
left record 'the plot against common sense' and I would like to take
this opportunity to debate with you some of the points you raise in
the piece, although of course by 'debate' I mean 'shut up and listen
to me'.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">According
to the opening line of your review I am 'something of a hero to you'.
I would almost be flattered by this sentence if it were not for the
level of qualification obliquely provided by the use of 'something'
but will choose to skip over the ham-fisted arse-kissing of your
opening and move on to deal with some of the more pertinent matters
of the day. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Allow
me to efuckidate in an easy-to-understand fuck-by-point manner -</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="text-decoration: none;">As
we approach the bottom of your first paragraph you refer to the
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="text-decoration: none;">'corporate
slick production on future of the left's third album'</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;">
(*1) - a question, my dear friend - would this be the kind of
corporate slickness you get through recording an album in 16 days
(using the same methods as ever) over a six month period in studio
downtime and friend-financed to the tune of £2,000 (whilst we work
in temporary jobs and with credit, when available, to support our
habit) or instead the kind of corporate-slickness (since, as tone
indicates, we’re using the term pejoratively) a person could get
from writing for a site which has run the adverts of a variety of
corporations, big and small, for many years? I may not be wearing my
eyeglasses at this particular moment, but I can definitely see a
lovely shiny one sitting atop your review at this very moment.</span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0.35cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Oh
… it has moving pictorials and everything – quite lovely! </span></span>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;">It
must indeed be tough to attempt to write from the perspective of the
anti-corporate outsider when you are, apart from the mastering
engineer (Sean, who did a really good job) probably (*2) the first
person involved in the whole process of making and releasing the
album to get paid because of it's existence. Following your lead, I’m
going to let that one ‘</span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="text-decoration: none;">sink
in’</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;">.
</span></span></span></span>
</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now
we've summed up, albeit with a tenuous nod to reality, the sound of
the album, it's probably time to move onto the other aesthetic
signifiers of the record in order to establish our burgeoning theorem
more thoroughly...</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="text-decoration: none;">‘</span><span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="text-decoration: none;">...
what about the cover and the goddamn title of The Plot Against Common
Sense? What in god's name is the author of "Fuck This Band"
doing stealing ideas from unpublished John Stossel books?’</span></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0.35cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
can only assume that ‘John Stossel’ is the kind of peculiarly
North American reference that pervades the reviews which sit about
websites of this type, acting as smug and impenetrable signifiers of
absolutely nothing at all. I, the ‘author’, googled ‘Mr
Stossel’ and can find no absolute evidence of a monopoly of
commonsense on his part let alone any indication that he and I could
agree that the term has any unified or even loosely defined meaning.
I do, however, detect the ascribing to us of the safe, conservative
values which are exhibited far more freely within your own work and
again, applaud you for attempting to deal with your complicity and
guilt in such a public forum.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0.35cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">As
for the cover, well, there’s a penguin on it you stupid cunt. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0.35cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now,
onto the lyrics, as the case for the defense continues.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0.35cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In
short(ish) - it is of incredible interest to me and, indeed, surprise
to find out that 'polymers are forever' is about plastic surgery (it
isn't - it's about the environmental/marine impact of plastic waste,
in a customarily indirect way) that 'anchor' is in some way an unfair
fight visited upon Alcoholics Anonymous (it isn't, although you got
the word 'alcohol' right(*3)) and that 'a guide to men', is 'another
song about pagan orgies' (wrong again, although I can understand the
mere use of the word 'orgy' setting off your second grade
arousal/memory triggers). Admittedly 'sorry dad, I was late for the
riots' IS a song about trustafarian rioters, those fucking rotters,
and is a pretty bloody funny Half Man Half Biscuit tribute at that,
replete with lyrics that apparently haven't so much gone over your
head as clean through it. One out of four correct is a pretty bad
return for a writer on a website with so much conscious sway over the
opinions of thousands of people – a simple email may have disabused
you of some of these assumptions though perhaps would have only led
you to other ‘facts’ on which to hang your naked bones.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0.35cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">On
'robocop 4 - fuck off robocop' (incidentally, for the cynical and/or
interested reader I post a live video recorded at a guitar shop of
the song near the end of this response, complete with full lyrics) we
will simply have to agree to disagree. However, if it is truly
amongst the worst songs of the year then I am a giant bat and
Pitchfork a cave into which I will shit golden effigies of your face.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0.35cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Sorry
- too much ginger beer. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.35cm;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;">In
twelve years of releasing records I have only twice felt compelled to
respond, privately in those cases, and was reasonably set on a
similarly benign course until two bells (figuratively speaking)
resonated in the heart of the sodden internet. Firstly, obviously
satisfied with the ebb and cod-ebb of your piece you tweeted a link
to the review. In fine repose you sat, and introduced </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="text-decoration: none;">'I
suppose the problem is that most touring funk bands had to get
sober'.</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;">
Well, I see you that and raise you 'I suppose the problem is that Ian
Cohen is effectively reviewing an album from ten years ago by a band
that no longer exists. His burning nostalgia for a lost teenage love
has been replaced by an uncontrollable hatred for her and her new,
happy life even though she went to college (Masters in Ancient
History, specialising in the early to mid Roman Republic) and grew
into those tits like you wouldn't believe. In fact, he hates her so
hard (yet helplessly) that he once applied for a Visa card in her
name, badly, in order to somehow affect her credit rating and thus
deny her the home she had dreamed about for so many years'.</span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0.35cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Secondly,
and rather more importantly, I was browsing a forum I occasionally
visit today, a one filled with gen-u-ine music fans, the kind who
wouldn't be easily swayed by invective, praise or otherwise, when I
came upon the following quote in a discussion of this review -</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 0.56cm; margin-bottom: 0.18cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>'Still
looking forward to the album, but some of those lyrics he quotes are
pretty shocking. Pitchfork in well written review shocker.'</i></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 0.56cm; margin-bottom: 0.18cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; line-height: 0.56cm; margin-bottom: 0.18cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Influence
laid bare, I think. A comment made in good(ish) faith on the basis of
two whole quoted lines and several calamitous misinterpretations,
which you'll remember that we covered in an earlier, simple module.
The opposite of the truth - a construct on which to hang a glib
hypothesis. I can honestly say that, whatever you think of the music,
that the lyrics on 'the plot against common sense' are the best I've
written (and yes - in either band) by a factor of FUCK LOADS(*4). And
Ian, I don't address that last sentence to you, I address it to
anybody with the good grace and faith to describe themselves as a
'fan' in as much as they trust that we love our band and know exactly
what we are doing even when it doesn’t tally exactly with their
tastes.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 0.56cm; margin-bottom: 0.18cm;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;">Sadly,
(or not as the case may be) I suppose that this group of people does
not include you but, hey, we both need to be comfortable with this. I
am - are you? </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;">It's
like we've reached the end of a line, you and I ... a line we walked
together when I never even knew that you existed. I'm sorry. I hope
you find solace in the ten-year anniversary re-release.</span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0.35cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">best</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0.35cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Andrew
Falkous </span></span>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.35cm;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;">ps.
In reference to a couple of songs you say that I can </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="text-decoration: none;">‘barely
muster the effort’</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;">,
implying, I suppose, that my heart really isn’t in the whole
enterprise. Let me assure you, in the strongest possible terms, that
it is.</span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0.35cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">pps.
Oh, and I’m sorry that you feel so much regret for buying those Bad
Religion records – that’s too bad. Still when the relevance of
this tragic tale to our new album crops up, give me a shout, yeah?</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.35cm;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;">ppps.
Robocop 4 link up at </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vm1D_Se7sfQ"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #9fc5e8;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vm1D_Se7sfQ</span></u></span></span></span></a><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #9fc5e8;">.</span>
Lyrics follow below notes.</span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">(*1)
always in lower case, mrsupernumberonefan.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">(*2)
I use the word 'probably' because I only assume that you are paid for
your work, such as it is. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;">(*3)
and who in the name of clunking fuck chooses Alcoholics Annonymous as
a target? You really must try harder if you want to set me up as your
</span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="text-decoration: none;">‘lunkhead’</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;">.
Try and write more realistic characters, for a start.</span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0.35cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">(*4)
don't be scared to embrace the jargon, kids.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0.35cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">----------------------------------------------------</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">robocop
4 - fuck off robocop</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">jaws?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">jaws2?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">more
jaws?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">or
jaws rebooted?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">please
- let's take a second to think about a future</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">state</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">of
love</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and
bliss</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">brought
to you by</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">wish
lists</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">of
eight year old boys who only crave explosions</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">why?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">well</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">being
eight</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">they
have an excuse -</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">they
are eight!</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and
giant robots cannot distract them from their fate</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">middle
aged men on a movie date</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">committed
to mortal shame</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">hey!</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">relax!</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">NO-ONE
DIED!</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">in
fact- they left improved</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">if
Michael Bay wants a bigger house, let's help him</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">art?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">ha!</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">where
you from?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">where
you been?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">he
said -</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
went to Cannes once and and really did not have much</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">fun</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">why?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">well</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">being
French</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">they
talk too much</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and
all those pages of subtitles kept getting stuck</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">1
becomes 2, 2 becomes 3</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">1
becomes 2, 2 becomes 3</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">pirates
of the caribbean 47</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">johnny
depp stars as the robot pirate</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">who
(loses) his wife in a game of poker</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and
tries to win her back with hilarious consequences</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">at
least Harry Potter has a proper story</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">in
the sense that the characters crave an ending</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">if
(only) to release poor Billy Corgan</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">from
his role as the titular character's nemesis</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">robocop
4 is in pre-production</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">like
robocop 3 wasn't bad enough</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and
George Lucas won't be kicking his heels</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">til
he makes some money from Howard the Duck</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">robocop
4 is in pre-production</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">like
robocop 3 wasn't bad enough</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">i
hope the projectionist likes his action</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">motion
tracked and medicated</span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-family: ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">(the
first director died)</span></span></div>falcotronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04479988669674757087noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4609911276987455515.post-7953556552006790242012-01-18T05:49:00.000-08:002012-01-18T08:57:26.211-08:00No news pre-news news.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">So, that was that then.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">2011.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">A pretty active year, altogether, for revolution, natural disasters and the distinctly postmature death of genocidal fuckheads, England became the No.1 cricket team in the world (though at time of writing are doing their level best to unbecome the same) and somewhere in the foreground, the Murdoch media empire did its best impression of being irredeemably crippled even though it had done nothing worse than scraping its knee whilst bending over to spy on on a stranger's balls.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">Odd, apparently. Mishappen. Prone to huge shifts in form and mass in rapidly changing climates.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">On a personal level, 2011 saw me unemployed and missing out on a grand total of three jobs because of a tour of Australia (you try explaining to potential employers the difference between 'holiday' and 'work' when you're so desperate for money that you'd eat at McDonald's if someone paid you enough*) and am searching still, at times with hope, at times without. I ran a few half marathons (in the middle of the night), got some way through writing my first bullshit book (also in the middle of the night) and read so much Ancient and Military History that at times I felt I should be taking a chariot to rehearsal instead of a bus.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">Band wise, well, we're still here, and delighted to be doing it.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">Final track listing for the album (after some revisions and a quick remix for 'goals in slow motion' the masters, I'm happy to say, are being run off tomorrow) is as follows. None of these titles are working titles, incidentally. Release date, sadly (saddest for us, mind – we started recording it LAST FUCKING JUNE) is still to be confirmed.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">1. sheena is a t-shirt salesman</span></span></span></p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">2. failed olympic bid</span></span></span></p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">3. beneath the waves an ocean</span></span></span></p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">4. cosmo's ladder</span></span></span></p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">5. city of exploded children</span></span></span></p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">6. goals in slow motion</span></span></span></p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">7. camp cappuccino</span></span></span></p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">8. polymers are forever</span></span></span></p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">9. robocop 4 - fuck off robocop</span></span></span></p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">10. sorry dad, i was late for the riots</span></span></span></p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">11. i am the least of your problems</span></span></span></p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">12. a guide to men</span></span></span></p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">13. </span></span></span><span style="color:#222222;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">anchor</span></span></span></p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">14. rubber animals</span></span></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:ArialMT, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-size:100%;">15. notes on achieving orbit</span></span></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">Having had a break from the thing over the course of the last couple of months I can exclusively reveal that, according to me (and I trust me, implicitly) it sounds as good as I remember it. I don't want to talk the thing up because that seems desperate but I will say this – we're very, very proud, a feeling which I'm allowing to linger until the end of next month when it will be doubtless replaced by the hollow anger of the ignored and jealous. Just kidding(*2)</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">We're still deciding on 'singles' and, although that term seems less relevant nowadays (how about 'promotional device for radio and youtube'?) we would very much like to release them on 7” single with the obligatory exclusive b-sides and all that jazz (nb. no actual jazz). My question to you (here and on twitter/facebook) – how much is a fair price? We want this to be something you can hold, look at and, if needed, comfort, but we'd rather not go losing money we don't have in the interim.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">So, in review ...</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">Australia was, in general, very good fun. Perth(*3) and Sydney were a delight whilst Brisbane and Meredith revelatory considering the distinct lack of sleep which preceded both shows. Only Melbourne felt strange and, despite our best efforts, lacked the atmosphere that we've come to expect from one of our favourite cities in the world. Perhaps it was just the way it felt from the stage but we felt as if we played twice as well as earlier in the year and got half the response. Proof, if proof be need be(*5) that there's no science to rock n'roll. The three UK shows were good fun as well, particularly London - despite the faintly preposterous airs and graces of Hoxton Bar and Kitchen it's actually a pretty good sounding room and we had a fine night, once the double van breakdown and most miserable in-house sound-guy(*6) in the world were taken on and vanquished to the four corners of our collective memories.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">Right, I must fly. More to follow very, very soon(*7), including show and single news, record store day and some bumpf about South by South West, which it turns out we are playing after all.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">(leon) best</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">falcoheadlinerofaboutiquefesti<wbr>valsponsoredbybudweiser</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">x</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">ps. How do you like your eggs in the morning? I like mine to exist.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; "><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">(*) I will happily eat a McDonald's meal if you reimburse my stomach and soul to the tune of £5,000. (*1)</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">(*1) an admission - twice on our tour of Australia I was forced (partly by a lack of funds but also because I was trapped in an airport and didn't feel like paying £10 for a sad, wet sandwich) to eat a grilled chicken burger from Hungry Jacks, which, for my non-Australian readers, is Burger King in all but name. Although it didn't taste too bad I could tell that the chicken had been thoroughly depressed even before being electrocuted by a robot then thrown into a seeded bap.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">(*2) no, I'm not.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">(*3) about half an hour before going on in Perth we were watching the pretty-damn-good-despite-the-<wbr>awful-name Injured Ninja (*4) play to a room with about 30 people in it and fearing the worst – inbetween nipping upstairs to tune my chin and medicate with Doctor Jameson a few hundred appeared out of fresh air and made us feel like a real band again. Salut!!!</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">(*4) who reminded us a little of our good friends Science Bastard, musically if not hair-wise.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">(*5) thanks 'The Day Today'.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">(*6) anyone who is in a touring band will know that this is quite an accolade.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; ">(*7) in the next few days. Promise. </p></span>falcotronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04479988669674757087noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4609911276987455515.post-57516191496442867322011-11-16T19:02:00.000-08:002011-11-16T19:46:21.654-08:00Master - Mastered<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; "></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">On Sunday November 13th at 6.23pm the individuals known collectively as 'future of the left' left Abbey Road(*1) studios in London, England with a completed and mastered copy of their new long-form record, 'the plot against common sense'. It runs to 49 minutes and 40ish seconds and contains 15 rock songs presented in the following order- </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">1.sheena is a tshirt salesman</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">2.failed olympic bid</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">3.beneath the waves an ocean</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">4.cosmos ladder</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">5.city of exploded children</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">6.goals in slow motion</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">7.camp cappuccino</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">8.polymers are forever</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">9.robocop 4 - fuck off robocop</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">10.sorry dad, i was late for the riots</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">11.i am the least of your problems</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">12.a guide to men*</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">13.the mercy of crows*</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">14.rubber animals</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">15.notes on achieving orbit</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">*these are working titles. Well, I just made them up now so I could write this out and post it - sue me(*2). Hell, I needed to tell someone who wasn't in the band about this fucking thing that we made.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">Yes. Done. Done'd. Dead. I can't speak for everyone in our (never red - I HATE red) practice room but I'm incredibly proud of this record. It's got everything I ever wanted in, on and through it. I'm also proud that we got here at all after all of the fruity fucking obstacles thrown in our way. (*3) We're working through artwork ideas as we speak. Excitement. Relief. Hope. Hats. We're hoping (well, it's pretty damn certain) for a release early next year - more information on this when we have it to give you. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">In other news - the ep 'polymers are forever' is out now. Buy it if you like it. Available digitally through iTunes and physically in shops(*5) or from our OWN HANDS at the following shows -</p><p></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; "><br /></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; ">20th November Cardiff, Clwb Ifor Bach (No, really?) with Saturdays Kids and Science Bastard <a href="http://www.ticketweb.co.uk/user/?region=gb_wales&query=detail&event=472159">tickets</a></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; ">26th November Leeds, Cockpit (supports unconfirmed at this stage) <a href="http://www.seetickets.com/Event/FUTURE-OF-THE-LEFT/The-Cockpit/595041">tickets</a></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; ">29th November London, Hoxton Bar and Kitchen with Saturdays Kids and Fever Fever</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; min-height: 14px; "><br /></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; ">Australian dates are as follows -</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; "><br /></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; ">4th December Perth, Rosemount</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; ">6th December Brisbane, The Zoo</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; ">8th December Sydney, Annandale Hotel</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; ">9th-11th December Meredith Music Festival (sold out)</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; ">16th December Melbourne, The Corner</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; "><br /></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; ">Ticket information for Australian shows is available <a href="http://handsometours.com/upcoming-tours/future-of-the-left">here.</a></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; "><br /></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; "></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">I should add that the London show has been sold out for a while ... another date will be announced very shortly. Oh, and in response to questions I've received from that 'Australia' ... it's highly unlikely we'll be back out there in 2012. That'd be too much, we all think. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">I have to go. The cat has just played 'xi' in Scrabble(tm).</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">falcoursehehas</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">x</p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><br /></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">ps. The polymers EP can be streamed at spin.com for a short time, though I have no idea exactly how short that time will be.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 18.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 18.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><i>(*1) we learned that, as worldwide brand, Abbey Road is almost as well-known as 'Marmite'. Fancy that.</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><i>(*2) on second thoughts - don't. I have NOTHING.</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><i>(*3) no jokes in this bit, sorry. A lot of people have helped our charity-shop arses through this experience but none more than our motherfuckingselves. Back-slaps and Dick-pyramids(*4) all round.</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><i>(*4) I have no idea what this is but am willing to give it a go for £5000. No flash photography.</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><i>(*5) remember shops? We had them in the eighties. They were a bit like Ebay, as I recall, but more brown.</i></p><p></p>falcotronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04479988669674757087noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4609911276987455515.post-12836286277054234652011-10-11T01:12:00.000-07:002011-10-12T02:40:34.681-07:00EP n' shake<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><br /></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">Zero Hour.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">(drum roll) ...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">An EP, titled '<b>polymers are forever</b>' will be released on 11th November on Remote Control (Australia) and on 14th November on XtraMile (Britain and Europe) with an initial small amount of imports being shoveled the way of the USA, that land mass which is a little to the left of Wales. Pleased doesn't quite cover it. The possibilities, literally, are end-ful.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">Running order is 'polymers are forever'(*1), 'with apologies to emily pankhurst'(*2), 'new adventures', 'my wife is unhappy', 'dry hate' and 'destroywhitchurch.com'. It has a running time somewhere in the region of twenty one minutes and is 'very nice' ((c) my mother, last week). The first three songs are taken from the album sessions (see below) whilst the final three are earlier demos we didn't have the time, money or inclination to re-record. At this stage I have no earthly idea if the EP will end up being pressed on vinyl but the chances, as ever, are dramatically increased the more people ask.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">Just saying.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">'polymers are forever' (the song not the entire EP) will appear on the album '<b>the plot against common sense</b>', which will be released in early 2012. More about this later(*4). We are really VERY VERY HAPPY with this record, which is perhaps ONE DAY away from being finished, whenever we can fit that in; I would like to apologise in advance to my bandmates and the cat(*5) for how drunk I get upon its completion.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">The following live dates are confirmed before the end of the year -</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">20th November Cardiff, Clwb Ifor Bach (No, really?) with Saturdays Kids and one more TBC <a href="http://www.ticketweb.co.uk/user/?region=gb_wales&query=detail&event=472159">tickets</a></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">26th November Leeds, Cockpit (supports unconfirmed at this stage) <a href="https://www.lunatickets.co.uk/event_page.php?eventID=1745">tickets</a></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">29th November London, Hoxton Bar and Kitchen with Saturdays Kids and Fever Fever <a href="http://www.wegottickets.com/event/137829">tickets</a></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">Australian dates are as follows -</p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><br /></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">4th December Perth, Rosemount </p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">6th December Brisbane, The Zoo</p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">8th December Sydney, Annandale Hotel</p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">9th-11th December Meredith Music Festival</p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">16th December Melbourne, The Corner</p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><br /></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">Ticket information is available <a href="http://handsometours.com/upcoming-tours/future-of-the-left">here</a>. Really. Can't wait. For all of it.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">I appreciate your patience. Rather than blogging (and yes, I still hate that word) throughout the year in a non-commital manner I thought it best to wait until there was something solid to tell you. 'Hey guys - big news coming IN SIX OR SEVEN MONTHS' doesn't really cut it around my face. Or, indeed, my balls.(*6)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">More to fellow follow.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">falco</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">x</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><i>(*1) I have read some pretty demented comments about this song after just one radio play (and subsequent streaming). Gary Numan? Obvious Cure references? LIMP BIZKIT? None of these are things. None. Of. These. Listen again. With ears. EARS. (*3)</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><i>(*2) this is the DELIBERATE title of the song. A reviewer for a magazine, who shall remain nameless changed 'emily' to 'emmeline' on a setlist she was given earlier this year. How cute.</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><i>(*3) laptop speakers do not count. </i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><i>(*4) and I ask you to interpret the word 'later' generously.(*7)</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><i>(*5) the odd seizure and shitting-on-the-doorstep episode aside, Chicken is doing well.</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><i>(*6) one balls reference per blog - new policy.</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><i>(*7) this is code for 'be patient'.</i></p>falcotronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04479988669674757087noreply@blogger.com13